To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
