So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
being pregnant is like rehab
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize