I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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