so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
