I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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