I bet he comes in French.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
