We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's like heaven, but drunker
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
