where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
