Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
