Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
