i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize