So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
