you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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