That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
