If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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