Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
