So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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