shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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