At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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