all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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