stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
