i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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