Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
