we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
