Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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