Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
