I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
