You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
