Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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