the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
