My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
