Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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