you should give me head with plastic fangs in
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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