good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
