I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
