He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
