Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's