I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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