i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
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I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?