Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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