the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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