Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize