You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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