There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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