Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
