M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize