im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
