420 ftw
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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