What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize