I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
