dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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