Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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