you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
