Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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