he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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