and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
