3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
