is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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