READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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