i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
