under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
