In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
