Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
