I hate all girls vehemently.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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