Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize